Parent-child relationship: tips for mother/father-child bonding
Do you know the signs of a good mother or father-child bond? When a child is confident and feels comfortable and secure , when they are not afraid to show their negative feelings, these are strong indicators that the parent-child relationship is intact. Especially when dealing with teenagers , a good bond is the basis for a relaxed life together. But how do you do that? How can parents strengthen the relationship with their child? In both directions ? We have a few answers to these questions.
In this story we'll tell you what wonderful , uncomplicated ways there are to strengthen the bond between mother and child or father and child .
Oxytocin: The chemistry has to be right
Studies have found that high oxytocin levels in parents and children in particular are an important indication of a good, loving relationship . This hormone, also called the “ bonding hormone ” or even “ love hormone ,” is essential for forming social bonds. And how can you ensure that it is distributed ? Simply through more time together and more affection ! By cuddling , playing and maintaining open , warm communication with our children, we can dramatically boost oxytocin production . Cuddling can sometimes be a problem, especially with older children . If cuddling with mom or dad is too “uncool,” parents need to think of something new . But don't worry: the bigger the child, the more opportunities you'll have to work on your bond. More on that soon!
What exactly happens during the mother/father-child bond?
Before we give you lots of nice parent-child activities and other tips, we would like to briefly tell you what happens, among other things, when a father or mother strengthens the bond with the child . And why everyone benefits from it in the end.
Self-esteem and self-confidence: good for now and later
Children who have a strong bond with their parents often develop healthy self-esteem and self-confidence . They feel loved and accepted, which has a positive effect on their personal development . And parents who feel that their child trusts them and loves them unconditionally can also draw strength , self-confidence and confidence from this - in all situations in life, whether at work, in sport or in their private life. This is particularly worthwhile as your child gets older or is currently going through puberty . Autonomy is the magic word: the stronger your bond, the more independently and independently you can all act. And that's a pretty good feeling.
Open communication in the parent-child relationship
If the bond is right, there is often open and respectful communication between parents and child . The child feels comfortable sharing their thoughts, feelings and experiences with their parents. And the parents can talk to each other and to the child on an equal level - with all the ups and downs . You just get along well. This takes stress out of many everyday situations and ensures greater stress resilience for everyone involved.
A close bond is conducive to joint activities
Let's be honest: Who do you most like to go hiking, to a restaurant or to the amusement park with? With people you like , right? If there is a close mother-child and father-child bond, the chance that your child will enjoy doing activities together increases. Pubescents and young adults in particular are more interested in doing things with their parents when everything is right. And surprise : shared activities promote bonding . That's what we call a wonderful cycle . Little spoiler: We'll tell you about many wonderful activities right away.
A close parent-child bond means more freedom for everyone
Families with a good parent-child relationship are often recognized by the fact that all members have more time and freedom to care for themselves. Children who feel a close bond with their parents are often better able to be alone , meet with friends and create their own world. Parents who know that there is a trusting, good relationship with their child are less likely to feel guilty about taking a break. Especially when communication is so good due to the close bond that concerns , needs and responsibilities can be clearly expressed between parents and child and the parents themselves. In short: everyone has more respect for and a better understanding of each other's autonomy .
These are just some of the benefits of good parent-child bonding . Research and studies agree: If parents invest time, love and patience in their relationship with their child, it is worth it for everyone. Or to put it more emotionally: whoever gives love gets love in return. And a lot of it.
So how can you strengthen this bond now? We already revealed it at the beginning: it's very simple. You'll be surprised at how simple the whole thing is. And how much fun it will be for you and your (big) child.
A good parent-child relationship is always based on quality time together
Eight family activities for a closer mother/father-child bond
Even though we would like to warmly recommend this: you don't have to start playing sports with your children or plan elaborate family trips . And we also consciously avoid categorizing them according to father-son activities or mother-daughter activities (or any other possible combination). This is about family activities that always fit , are easy to implement and can have a big effect with little effort. Shall we get started?
Want quality time for the family? Just be together!
It sounds simple, and it is: Treat yourself to more time together. Whether it's roughhousing on the sofa, together in bed before going to bed or just because: the more parents spend quality time with their children, the better. And while you might prefer playing and cuddling with small children, with teenagers you can find a new favorite series, play board games together or simply go out for a meal together. You will see: In the end, quality time also means more family quality!
Playing together means growing together
When we play with our children , we automatically strengthen our bond with them. Play promotes communication , builds trust , creates wonderful shared memories , and can help children better regulate and express their emotions . Playing is simply wonderful - and also for the release of oxytocin! Playing is a given for small children. But even with older children , it's worth getting out the dice , gamepad or cards . Not only do you spend more time with your teenager, you often also get insights into what is currently happening in his or her life, what games he or she likes, and what their strengths and weaknesses are.
A good parent-child relationship also goes through the stomach
Shopping for groceries, cooking and eating together can increase your bond immensely. Especially if you involve your child in numerous activities . Maybe they would like to help design the shopping list? Clean potatoes? Or swing the wooden spoon as a head chef? And during the actual meal you can talk to each other, listen to each other and learn more about each other.
Learning, crafting and building together
As soon as your child goes to school or university or does an apprenticeship, he or she will have to learn a lot. How nice that this sometimes difficult matter is more fun together - and shows you as a mother or father how your child is doing, whether he or she is coping well or has problems. You can also improve your mother/father-child relationship while doing crafts or building . Whether you're making something together for kindergarten or school , building fantasy worlds in the children's room or doing small crafts at home: you'll learn more about each other, celebrate successes together and even watch each other fail. And if the children are older , you can also involve them in more complex tasks . Working around the house together, sprucing up the garden or washing the car – all activities that are part of everyday life. And you can strengthen your bond if you approach it together.
Conducting conversations: very simple, so effective
Cell phone away, tablet away, television off – now it’s time to chat ! Especially when dealing with teenagers , communication is important . Talk to each other, tell each other stories. The best father-child and mother-child bonds are built on a solid communicative foundation that allows for mistakes and weaknesses - as well as every emotion. Very important here: Don't complain! It is precisely when your child misbehaves or does something “stupid” that he or she needs the most love and affection . For his good feeling that the parent-child relationship is okay. Even if everything else goes haywire.
You can strengthen your bond with your child outside and inside
Happy, radiant, balanced families in the mountains, by the lake or in the forest - no coincidence, because outdoor activities are good for all of us. And of course you can strengthen your bond with your child with excursions into nature. But you don't have to be active all the time. Relaxing indoors together, watching a movie or solving a puzzle can be just as beautiful and effective. Especially on days when you just want to relax and forget about the outside world.
A good parent-child bond is worth shooting!
Laughing is healthy. It can reduce stress, make us happy – and connect us with other people. Just think about your best friends for a moment: With whom, if not them, can you laugh your head off over little things ? The same applies to parents and children. Find your common sense of humor . These can be so-called dad jokes (fathers love these things), stupid jokes (small children can't get enough of them), family insiders (the postman is now called “the little bumblebee”) or the latest favorite joke from mom's work . But humor goes much further and, if trained, can permeate everyday life. Whether plates fall on the floor, gloves can't be found or it's almost time for bed: stressful situations are often resolved happily if you take them with humor and, above all, not so seriously.
Children love inner children
Whether you simply turn up the music and dance as if you had been bitten by a tarantula, whether you paint yourself a clown face with lipstick or pull off doorbell pranks in the (friendly) neighborhood with your older children: If you listen to your inner child every now and then When you leave all the seriousness of life behind you, you will notice how good it feels. Take advantage of the moment and think of a few things that turn even everyday tasks into games. What about a World Tidying Family Championship ? Or running backwards through the park while taking a walk? And what do you say to a fantastic adventure between the mystical mountains of clothes or in the green elven forest where the rotten leaves threaten? Sounds a lot better than “We have to do laundry” or “Time to rake leaves,” right?
Treat yourself to something good every now and then
Sometimes parents forget to take care of themselves. Whether you treat yourself to a massage every now and then, go for a walk and enjoy the peace and quiet, or set fixed times that are yours and should only be disturbed in emergencies: Me-Time is important. This also includes the right food and short moments of enjoyment. You can grab our muesli bars , minis or energy gums* . These provide you with carbohydrates and give your body and brain what they need to be fully present for the next adventure.
There is no one true parent-child relationship
Every person is different. And so does every mother, every father and every child. So it's not about strengthening the mother-child or father-child bond according to a specific template . It's more about finding the best path for you. Maybe outdoor family activities are good for you? Maybe you prefer to cuddle or strengthen your relationship while cooking or watching a movie together? If you want to build a stronger bond with your children or nurture and nurture this bond, the best advice is to listen to your heart . You know your child best. And yourself.
* contains carbohydrates
A varied, balanced diet and a healthy lifestyle are important.
SOURCES
Scatliffe N, Casavant S, Vittner D, Cong X. Oxytocin and early parent-infant interactions: A systematic review. Int J Nurs Sci. 2019 Sep 12;6(4):445-453. doi: 10.1016/j.ijnss.2019.09.009. PMID: 31728399; PMCID: PMC6838998.
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