Family life made easier – the best tips for family managers

Anyone who manages everyday family life and keeps family life together probably has one of the most important around-the-clock jobs in the world. Whether it's sports or vacation with children , managing the family budget , organizing the household at work or general time management in the family: there is always a lot to do.

In this story you will find tips on how to organize a harmonious family life effectively and efficiently. So that you can manage your family more confidently - as stress-free as possible and always self-determined. And above all, not on your own.

First step: What does your everyday family life actually look like?

The great couples therapist Esther Perel once referred to this article on her Facebook account. The somewhat older text is about the scientifically proven main cause of anger between couples: doing the dishes . So before we look at how the daily routine can be organized in terms of daycare and kindergarten , hobbies and events, we first have to ask ourselves the most important question: What does our everyday family life actually look like at the moment?

• Who does the dishes?
• Who (perhaps) has more free time? Who organizes joint excursions, books accommodation and plans routes and luggage?
• Who bears the greater mental load (we'll get to this technical term in a moment)?
• Who packs the little ones' backpacks or school bags?
• Who will drive the children where and when?
• How do adults spend their often limited free time together?
• And: Can all family members be meaningfully involved in family management?

Whether you are already successful in family management or want to get started again: it often helps to be aware of the status quo. If you write everything down and sort it according to the strengths and weaknesses of your family life together, you can make a new plan . And thereby ensure more ease and sovereignty in everyday life. For all.

Family manager – new word, important function

Sure, women in particular have been managing families for centuries, if not millennia. However, the term family manager is quite new. And he is important. Because it has a special function: it creates clarity and awareness of one's own role. And it is not limited to one person or one role. In contrast to “head of the family” or “househusband/housewife”, the title “family manager” is much closer to a professional or professional title. Above all, it opens up new mental perspectives . Reactive action becomes active management. Managers can distribute, take on or even reject tasks in a structured and sometimes distant manner. Just like managers in companies. This particularly plays a role when it comes to mental load . We will now explain this term to you:

Mental Load: One for all, all for one

Even though mental load can also affect men in everyday family life, it is still primarily women (i.e. mothers) who carry the majority of this burden (mental load means something like “ mental load ”). Mental Load is about all the things you need to keep in mind when it comes to family life. When does the child have to go to sports, do we still have pasta in the pantry, who will make the next doctor's appointment, when do we have time to tend to the garden? If the answers to these and often dozens of other questions are only available to one person every day, a mental load quickly becomes a mental overload (i.e. a mental load becomes a mental overload). With the expected consequences: irritability and fatigue, even full-blown burnout. So what can you do to distribute the mental load differently and, above all, better ? Because if it only moves from one person to another, the problem is not solved. On the contrary: everything starts again.

 

Modern family management : teamwork instead of individual struggle

You may be familiar with the saying “It takes a village to raise a child.” We are now simply inventing a new one: “It takes all family members to organize everyday family life”. Because a functioning, harmonious family life means that everyone contributes to it. Hand in hand, according to the respective competencies and capacities. Just teamwork .

(Small) children can do more than we think

Family management is often completely taken over by the parents or by single mothers or fathers. Sure: two-year-olds may not be able to run errands or take on manual tasks yet. But the dwarves can often do much more than their parents give them credit for. Older children in particular (depending on their development from around three to four years old, but at the latest when they reach school age) are a great help if you let them.

Children can tidy up the children's room , play area or sandpit if you give them clear rules, support them when necessary and, above all, provide child-friendly storage solutions. Transparent boxes with colorful, labeled (or stickered with symbols) lids teach (small) children how to tidy up in a playful way.

Older children can take on household tasks. They can help with washing up and setting the table , taking out the trash , or helping you sort, hang, or clean up laundry . But above all, in their own family microcosm, they can make a big difference as small family managers. Planning a vacation or sport with children ? Then let them do some research, plan excursions, suggest equipment or food , or go shopping. If something is missing, you can still complete your little darling's work.

Good communication and clear rules are important here. Good communication means: at eye level. Officially appoint children as family managers in the presence of all family members (here, aunts and uncles, grandmas and grandpas can also be invited as a special highlight) and assign them clear tasks that neither under nor overwhelm a child. Because: Under-challenging tasks quickly bore the little one and soon they are no longer able to be mastered with full enthusiasm or are put off. Overwhelming tasks, in turn, mean negative mental load, which will soon be avoided by any means possible. But the right amount can motivate and unlock completely new potential in children - and make an important contribution to the development of resilience and personality .

Confident family managers – the adults show how it’s done

Whether you are a mother or father or (still) managing a childless family: most of the responsibility will always lie with the adults . And that's a good thing - if it's optimally distributed. First, all important people should be appointed family managers. By the way, these can also be neighbors , godmothers or witnesses ! It is important to clearly highlight the respective competencies and to assign tasks unambiguously, bindingly and responsibly.

Dear neighbors could be involved to look after the children from time to time or help with garden or path maintenance.

Experience has shown that godmothers and uncles, witnesses and other members of the “ selected family ” are extremely happy when they can take on (more) tasks within the family. As with the neighbors, a bit of tact is required here: you neither want to overwhelm them or take on too much of their work, nor should they voluntarily take on too much purely out of good will - especially if neighbors or witnesses of the marriage have families to manage themselves.

And the parents themselves? They should and must be the heart of every functioning, harmonious family. That's why it's important that moms and dads in particular (or moms and moms and dads and dads) determine their roles, tasks, etc. particularly carefully and, above all, collaboratively.

This is how parents become award-winning family managers

Family time management , organizing laundry or other household tasks in the extended family, daily routines including daycare or kindergarten and school and much more require modern methods . That's why our tip: get apps and programs that help you organize everyday family life. More traditional methods such as printed daily schedules and to-do lists on the fridge are also ideal for making life easier for everyone.

Relaxed family management, made easier with the right apps.

 

Which apps and software are recommended?

A shopping app such as HNGRY that synchronizes your entries and is not just suitable for supermarket visits. By the way: With our muesli bars* , energy gums* and our minis you can put a few products on your shopping list that will provide you with quick carbohydrates and lots of taste in your everyday family life.

A shared calendar , such as that offered by Google. Here you can enter and share appointments - thereby ensuring that there are no overlaps in everyday family life.

Especially if you have large families, you can really consider getting (free or very cheap) project management software . It doesn't have to be a powerful tool like Asana, just take a look at the apps Trello or Todoist .

A financial app such as Finanzguru or Money Manager is also very important against mental overload.

Get a diary and write down what particularly pleased, annoyed, motivated or fulfilled you today. Of course, you can use paper and pen for this, but otherwise you can also use an app that you can install on your laptop or cell phone. Take a look at the apps Diaro and Daylio , which the competent Chip editorial team also recommends.

And one last tip: talk to each other. Distribute tasks fairly and on an equal footing, set boundaries openly and lovingly and also distribute me time and “parents only” time fairly. Very important: Decide which tasks have which priority in your family life. If both people agree that washing up isn't actually that important, then this problem will solve itself...

* contains carbohydrates

A varied, balanced diet and a healthy lifestyle are important.

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